Mom Day

Today was our “mom” day. Again, with no planning, it just worked out that way. Those who know me, know my mom has had dementia/Alzheimer’s the last 12 years. She’s currently 100% dependent on others for everything and has been for years. Well, everything but giving me the “harry eyeball” when I make a ridiculous comment and being the first to laugh at my sarcasm. I could be angry at God for having to watch my mom suffer through such a humiliating disease and now with my health challenges I miss her mothering more than ever. 

But my God is Jehovah Jirah, my faithful provider. And time and time again throughout the last 12 years, God hasn’t “fixed” my mom. However, he has graciously provided a variety of wise women in my life that have met those various mothering needs. So, so thankful for my adopted mom, Sylvia, driving and taking care of me today. Thank you! 

From the first days of diagnosis God keeps proving faithful. Not for my Genie in Bottle wants and wishes, like “cancer gone...right now!” But what I need to get through or to reflect Him through a situation, He is gracious. I was scared about using my port for the first time this week. I’m not a fan a getting stuck with a needle, but it was ok and week one using the port was manageable. I’ll never love it, but I’m trying to get use to the uncomfortableness of that alien object stuck in my body. My rash is almost gone, it isn’t incredibly annoying any more. Nausea medicine is starting to help me get some food down. I’ll gladly take relief and improvement. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know God will walk it with me and provide my needs. And really, this body is temporary; my soul isn’t. I prefer Him to protect my soul from the one who wants to snag it. So very grateful.