Sorry for the 3 Week Silence

To put it lightly, These last 3 weeks at home have been...ummm...”difficult”...to say the least. I think, in the back of my La La Land head, I wanted to take a break from cancer. As you can imagine, cancer doesn’t give any vacations. This dreary MidWest weather doesn’t help any either. It’s like this dark storm cloud enveloping me. And as much as I try to shake it off, push it away, or change the forecast...it lingers still. As I’ve mentioned before, a dear aunt sent me a journal/devotional that I have faithfully been using. The morning and evening scribbles (yes, mine our sloppy scribbles straight from the heart), these scribbles correspond. There are different sections for various aspects of life with room to draw or write thoughts, goals and reflections. My evening reflections last night when pretty quick. The teacher came out in me as I marked almost each section with a big, fat “F”. I don’t even know what to write. I don’t want to give the difficulties the focus of my attention. I want to focus on what I can do and who I can be instead. And I do want you to know I am still here, still trying to figure out myself, my God, and this cancer. I need to get back to blogging. It helps me process. And, selfishly, when I am connected, I can feel the prayers of all you loving friends. When I am not connected, I don’t. And I know, prayer changes things. Some of you have been asking for specific prayer requests. Please pray:

- I seek the Healer more than the healing. - Clarity, wisdom, and peace with all the decision-making, especially today at this new clinic.  - That I will continually lay my stressors, doubts and fears at my Savior’s feet - Self-discipline - Our marriage - God changes me so I love Him and others well - God’s provision of needs, and the wisdom to know the difference between needs and wants. Praise -Mercies new every morning -Tom’s hard work on finances and insurance details -Did I mention we get to see Amanda and Stryker today?!?! Woohoo!!!!!!! My clouds instantly lifted when I read Amanda’s text at 5:30 this am that she will be at the same clinic today! Wha?! So, so, so thankful! And excited! -Clear roads for driving -Progress towards wholeness -Sleeping in our own bed, Mississippi views, and snuggles with my kitties -The sun is shining outside -The Son is shining inside