Mixed Emotions

Not sure how I am feeling lately; at a loss for words. Tomorrow is my last day at this clinic. I will never get this group of wonderful people all together at the same time again. Loss hurts. On the flip side, so very thankful I got the blessed opportunity to meet these once strangers, learn and grow with them, and now they have turned into dear friends. Mourning the loss of blue skies and flip flop weather. Looking forward to home sweet home. Mourning the loss of my safe haven where I can focus on healing self-care. Looking forward to being with my support network at home and having new tools in my toolbox. Mourning the loss of medical staff I trust. Anticipating new positive connections.

Mourning the loss of evening walks outside without layering up. Anticipating...??? Not really looking forward to the cold at all! Mourning the loss of hotel “housekeeping” allowing me to come home to fresh linens, a perfectly made bed, and freshly clean floors at my “home away from home”. Looking forward to fur all over my floors and furniture and snuggling with Frick and Frack...after they are done giving us the cold shoulder for being gone so long. Not mourning the loss of this tiny, what feels like, a full sized bed and sleeping in our own more spacious bed. So very thankful for reduced tumor numbers and reduced tumor size. Praise God, the Great Physician.

And beyond thanks for His promise that when everything fell I’d be held. (Natalie Grant ‘s “Held”) Thanks to so many friends, family and strangers that have been lifting me (and Tom Randleman) up in prayers. The first leg of this journey has been a greater challenge than I anticipated; but through all the highs and lows I know He has been holding me. And He continues to do so. “For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 But don’t stop there! “...Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.” The creator of the universe, the creator of our DNA, hears ours cries when we honestly, humbly whole-heartedly seek Him. Rejoicing! He has turned my mourning into dancing. Psalm 30:11