Peaks and Valleys

Today was my lowest treatment valleys yet.

-Nausea from yesterday’s chemo set in upon waking this morning. Every food smell somersaults my stomach. I haven’t eaten more than 4 bites of food...but I did manage to keep it down! And...the food was good.

-Today was high dose Vitamin C treatment and that is physically exhausting...but I finally got a chance to sit out in the sun in the middle of the day when it is warm. I've been waiting all week for that.

-This entire weekend I am suppose to do a water fast. I don't feel mentally or spiritually ready for that yet. Trying to take baby steps to get there as my strength allows. Hard to feel strong with all my weakness, nausea and piddly 4 bites. But...since my blood work looks good I get to be done with the detoxing phase and move on to the water fast portion. That is sooner than what's typical for most patients. Yay! So the water fast is good; it's just going to take strength...and rest. And the wisdom to know when to power through and when to rest.

-Which leads me to my next one. It is like a balancing act doing all the treatments I can in order to get better, and resting, plus doing the mind work and the spiritual aspects. Trying to learn how to lay it all at Jesus’ feet, not just some of it. ("I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:16) "In the past...", I learned those three important words from my counselor this week. "In the past..." I use to internalize my stressors, playing a part in getting to this point where my body is sending me this message for help...loud and clear. So, this weekend, I water fast.

-And..did I mention I have a phone interview for a coaching position in my district next Thursday? After my chemo treatment! And...and I am supposed to have a lesson prepared for that. Add that to this weekend's to-do list. And my prayer request. But...life is going to go on after this chapter. And if that position doesn't work out, God doesn't want me there. I really, really don't want to be where He doesn't want me.

The beautiful thing about valleys is that we can't have valleys without peaks. As I reflect on this trek through these valleys, I am purposely choosing. Yes, it's a God-given choice. I am choosing to lift my eyes for glimpses of the peaks that surround me, literally and physically. "Because where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth" and every cell in my body. (Psalm 121:1)