Support

Today I got to physically be with some of my supporters. Friends and pastors at church who encouraged and prayed with me. I was rather dumbfounded. It seriously blows my mind that they would cry over me. Not that I don’t think they care that deeply about me, but...I guess...I believe deep, deep down to my core that Jesus is going to deliver me through this. Sure, the road may be difficult, but God never promised an easy life. ("In this world we will have trouble.")

I have only cried over this a couple of times. Once when my Heavenly Father clearly started providing this alternative way for me and then last night, while randomly putting away my laundry. It wasn’t the laundry though. It was the "thinking time" doing laundry allows. While putting away socks I was blindsided by missing my mom. Desperately wishing she was “here” to physically walk and talk through this with me.

After icing my swollen eyes for 20 minutes this morning and I still looked like I had frog eyes, I remembered to thank God for my dad and his support walking through this; praise God I have him! And God has also provided so many girlfriends that are listening and talking me through this, helping me process, fulfilling much of what I miss and need from my mom. And…if there’s no crying in baseball, I don’t need to waste time crying facing cancer. Again, cancer isn’t a death sentence. I could have used that 20 minutes this morning to accomplish something. Ha! When will I learn?! I did use that time to pray. And what more could I have accomplished than God could? Duh! No wonder He calls us sheep. I am such a slow learner.

My big request today is for God to provide the perfect sub ASAP. I am trying to lay that at His feet, but I keep picking it up over and over and over again. In addition, I have no idea how I am going to get all my school stuff finished and prepped, as well as home stuff packed and prepared by Friday. I really need time off school but I have so much to do at school time off would make that worse. Trusting Him more to help me prioritize and simplify.